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 | Autor: BeatriciusSekce: BáseňPublikováno: 10. května 2007 17:34Průměrné hodnocení: 0, hodnotilo 0 uživatelů [detaily] |
Well, there isn't very much to say having written this about ages ago:-D
Anyway, hope you all like it and I welcome any comments whatever their context includes
Anyway, hope you all like it and I welcome any comments whatever their context includes
Old boat talking
This old boat can't move
anymore over the sea.
I'm not young and happy
as once I used to be - I used to be....
This old boat is cracked
in many places - like thee.
Thou ain't as young and happy
as thee used to be - thee used to be...
In an old house on squeaking chairs
we drink our morning tea.
Looking into each other eyes
we are again young and happy
as we used to be - we used to be......... when I met thee!
Pain inside
I feel like I'm closing
my happy act.
but without exposing
this decadent fact
no one can feel it.
Little smile, big tears
follow in exhibition.
My screams and fears
are the end of composition.
No one can see it!
the web of sadness
is laid upon my face.
the cloud of madness
fills my inerspace.
Why can no one heal it?
Komentáře, názory, hodnocení
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 | Well well well, seems like we finally, who can properly rhyme in english, keep up the good work... I had only one real prolm, when I was reding the first poem and that was: happy - tea... You see theese two words don't end exactly the same when you read them and it's kind of distrubing, by the way, how did you learn english? It seems to be on a pretty high level... | |||
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 | One more point: each other's eyes:) (not just each other) | |||
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 | No, řikal jsem si, že to je myšlený jako vtip, ale přišlo mi to divný. Tak jo... | |||
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| Eygam - 21.Května 2007 08:30 Taht's the point. It's supposed to look like an old Irish bloke's talking - that's the joke - get it:-D Anyway, thanks for your comment mate. | |||
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| Je to dobrý, líbí se mi to. Ale použít ain´t a starý zájmena thou a thee v jedný básničce? Nepřijde mi to moc šťastnej nápad. | |||
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 | Beatricius - 19.Května 2007 11:44 No problem pal. I am Happy I could help a bit. I realy liked it. | |||
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| psychop - 18.Května 2007 23:04 Yep, it's supposed to be with double n. How in the hell could I miss that:-D Thanks Psychop | |||
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| Povedené. Skutečně tleskám. Možná jen... nepíše se "innerspace"? jako se dvěma N? Nějak si te nejsem jistý, zda tam není chyba. Ale tohle je tak asi jediné, čeho jsem si všiml. | |||
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